Where do I even start when it comes to this topic…LOL. My struggle of entrepreneurship has definitely been a topic that’s been on my mind to talk about, but reinforced by my good friend Ricqcolia and then after completing our “Into The Digital Age” workshop series and hearing everybody’s stories, it kinda prompted this.
Deciding to take the leap off that cliff is a decision that not everybody is willing to make. Support will not always be something you get from your closest friends or family, especially if they have been conditioned to believe that earning money through a 9-5 is the only way to survive.
Before I start talking about some of my struggles, there is a quote that I remind myself of every single day and that keeps me grounded.
For me, the biggest struggle I had to date when I made the decision to create something for myself was figuring out my voice, nailing down what I wanted to do and how to go about doing it.
It was the hardest thing for me because I felt like at times, I didn’t know who I was or what I was about. Going back and looking at my first videos, I think I imitated people too much, a clear sign that I was not my authentic self. It wasn’t until I came across a Youtuber by the name of Flossy Carter, who looked like me, talked like me, cursed on his tech videos, made insane jokes and seeing all of his success, did it make me feel like I could become a content creator within the tech space.
Flossy gave me the permission I needed to say to myself, I could be a black man with a troubled past, tattoos, a Toronto accent, to show up here in the Caribbean and just be me.
The second I decided to be myself and to give value in the space of smartphone technology, it felt as if I have been walking on a guided path ever since.
Now that I know what I wanted to do, the next challenge was actually deciding what was the best way to be in my space. I had wanted to start a phone store and offer the best buying experience and expertise, but I didn’t have the money to start it up. My ex probably gave me the best advice. If people, money or things are needed before you get started, then try starting even smaller.
The problem most people have with starting small is that they never want to be seen starting from the bottom. I started simply blogging, I had taken a job at Digicel to pay the bills and keep money in my pocket and I worked overtime in building my name in the space.
As I write this, I know that I have been blessed because for me everything has felt like perfect timing. It took so much time figuring out who I was or wanted to be. Until I realized that I can create and dedicate myself to a cause. I didn’t need to follow a blueprint that was already laid out or follow in anybody’s footsteps.
My struggle has always been mental. I have self-sabotaged myself for years but I have been told my entire life, for as long as I can remember. Keron is far too smart for his mistakes and if he can only focus, there is no stopping him.
I am not rich, there is so much further to go on this journey and everybody’s story and goals are different. For me, I have struggled with my mindset. It’s hard to be focused in today’s world, and I have had a lot of negativity in my life because I was trying to fit into circles I had no business being in.
I took a few months in 2018 to do a lot of reading, spending alone time, and I have been doing my best to create more. Whether that’s a new blog or trying my hand at teaching or creating spaces for people to be in their genius, I have just been kept creating things that felt right.
I don’t feel like I can be held back by anything but myself. I don’t focus on the money as I am a firm believer that once I am doing things that are aligning with my purpose, the money will follow. The digital age has given us all the opportunity to build a business online, with little to no money and make huge returns. However, too many of us are just not doing things for the right reasons and we are not being rewarded for those efforts.
From a man who has 2 kids, who has seen the inside of a jail cell, who has moved to a whole other country at 28 years old, I am just at the point in my life where becoming an entrepreneur means so much more than being self-employed.
Entrepreneurship allows me to view the world from the eyes of a problem solver. It’s allowing me to be an example to my kids and others, that times have changed and we can make it. It allows me to show people of the Caribbean diaspora that we can leave Canada/US/UK and move to the islands and build.
The entrepreneurial mindset has allowed me not to wait for things to happen, but to go out and continue to create my own luck. There will be times I have no money. Just last week, I checked my bank account and had $80TTD left and I didn’t panic because I had deposited a cheque the day before and there are more coming in.
My struggle will always be mental. Every day I have to keep checking in with myself and seeing if my current path is what I want to be on. My mental struggles keep me awake at night because there is always a battle going on and when I can overcome it, I have seen amazing things happen for me and when I lose those battles, I have seen my lowest times.
As of today, I have been trying to carve out mentally what I want to do. I love mobile tech, I love talking about it but I realized teaching entrepreneurs how to leverage technology to aid in their ventures, has been inspiring me more and leaving me feeling more fulfilled inside as I am seeing and hearing the impact on the lives I have come across.
So again, I am here creating myself, expanding on who I want to be and how I want to show up. For me, this is always an internal battle. Wrapping up this workshop series, I know that there are so many opportunities ahead and I just need to keep figuring out and learning if this path is one that aligns with my greater purpose. If it is, things will flow and if it’s not, I will be met with a lot of resistance and learning whether or not a particular path is right for you is something that people tend to overlook for many reasons.
So keep me in your thoughts and prayers, as I keep so many of you. I am still figuring myself out and it is my greatest struggle that I face every day. I want to be authentic, I want to be happy, I want to create money but most importantly, I want to be me. Sometimes I don’t know if I am allowed to do that but I remind myself every day, that the only way forward is to be me, everything else will follow.